On Friday, I was looking at a music video my sister’s friend Amy posted. It shows Hungarian pop-star Boggie undergoing the photoshop changes that are common when it comes to music video and print edits.
It’s a scary truth that most of what we look at these days has been altered, fixed up, and projected under bright lights to look a certain way. But this got me thinking: this isn’t just happening in the media, it also happens with you and me.
I realize today more and more, how much pressure we have these days to make it look like everything’s going GREAT. Not just having a hot physical bod (though, that’s where it starts) but also, we expect that people who have done well in life, should be HAPPY. They should be totally in love with their partner every day. They are BLISSED out in their job and wake up in orgasmic fits of joy to get to work.
Maybe, I’m exaggerating, but have you noticed how much pressure there is to be happy all the time? To always look good, to have an abundant life, tons of friends, with a soulmate by your side?
Goodness! Life is wonderful, ecstatic, joyful, pleasurable, delicious, warm, and HAPPY!But reality check, boys and girls, let’s all admit that life can also be painful, tiring, drudging, exhausting, and plain SAD.
And by hiding behind fluffy sugar mounds of sweetness because we feel pressure to be HAPPY! 24/7, we forget to let ourselves feel.
But here’s the thing, you’re gonna feel anyway. Even after you’ve found HIM. Even when you get that promotion. Even if you are the epitome of hotness and selling millions of albums a year (see Drake’s lyrics.)
I’m all about positive thinking and I consider myself an optimist, so you’ll still find me doing affirmations and writing in my journal and making huge desire lists of ridiculously big things. What I’m saying is that both sides have their beauty. Like photoshopping those already-lovely-as-they-are models, we’ve become intensely uncomfortable showing parts of us that are flawed, and instead try to make everything look perfect. But that’s Barbie, not you. Not sweet, warm, confused, powerful, vulnerable, magnificent you.
Yes, there’s so much more to this topic that I could delve into. Like learning how to feel without your whole world crashing down, or becoming a “feeling person” without being miserable all the time. Yeah, I get that. Those are challenges too, and totally I’m up to discuss it in another blog post. I just want to point out that this pressure for perfection isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.
What if you could love and accept yourself wildly when you are feeling shitty, too? Or when you look fat and wrinkly? I think that’s a goal worth shooting for, better than anything Photoshop could fix. ;)