Willpower Shmillpower

Anytime I have to rely on my “willpower,” I am most likely damned.

You see, willpower is a limited resource, and being the self-help junkie that I am, (please, some linguistically talented creature *cough* Dan Archer, come up with a new title for me), there is always something to be done, finagled into place, and added to my list to ensure a “wonderful life” or to “manifest my dreams.”

Of course though, life is life and things don’t really ever go as expected. (Thank Goodness, right?) So instead of relying on my willpower, I’ve been toying with creating a mechanism where it is impossible for me to fail.

For example, if I were a nutella addict, and I couldn’t buy a jar without diving into it and finishing it within 3 days and feeling sick later, (purely hypothetical, dear), then the best choice is to not buy it at all. Or! If you’re a compulsive e-mail checker like I am, best to take the Gmail app off your homescreen or leave your beloved celly in another room.

By putting myself in situations where I cannot, even if I tried, do that thing I have been trying so hard to stop doing, I’m a success. No willpower needed. ;)

This can also be utilized in a positive way to lovingly coerce yourself to do what you have been trying to do for ages. I’m always trying to walk more in Orlando aka car kingdom. Instead of trying to delude myself that I will log 10,000 steps into my pedometer by waking up at 6am and strolling the neighborhood, I just park my car really far from where I want to go, like, 5x a day.

Little actions such as these don’t take as much willpower or mental space, but still get the job done.

And that’s just what I need. :)

So tell me love, what are some of your lifey hacks to set yourself up for success? Share the smarts in the comments below :*

 

Hermione

Alia

 

 

 

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Your Golden Essence

There was nothing to say.

Long stretches of silence filled the space between our awkward conversation. I was running the anger/inadequacy/sad tape in my head trying trying TRYING to avoid the discomfort of pending emotions I was feeling in the moment. But the discomfort just grew stronger and stronger, until…

Music began to play. Something sweet. I didn’t know where it was coming from, but it began to fill the room. Something in my heart softened, surrendered, and as we sat there listening to the emotion pour through the music, I began to cry. The music continued and carried me through the sadness I was so resistant to experience before. Thank goodness for his music.

After it finished, we sat in silence. Relieved. There was nothing to say. The music said it all.

This is the power of art. 

I’m all about self-development, affirmations, re-wiring your self talk, but sometimes it takes more than our logical efforts to heal. I’m talking about the things that touch us in ways that nothing else can: storybooks, beautiful pieces of music, a moving film, dancing with your girlfriends or at drum circles.

When I was in Spain, I took a class with a famous journalist who showed us the power of music in film. Without the music, the film felt like nothing. The music was the movement, the soul-stirrer. When I am sad, I crank up Adele in my car and sing along. Cinematic scores give me shivers. This one always touches me so deeply:

Have you ever seen a painting that stopped you in your tracks? Or watched a movie that expressed just what you needed to feel? Maybe it’s hearing a story of someone’s triumphs that makes you remember your Golden essence, stronger than the fires of Mordor.

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From “The Hobbit” directed by Peter Jackson. JPEG

I am always so moved by such expression and I think we could spend more time doing the things that heal us in that way.

What heals you? What touches you? How do you express yourself in a way that feels truer than logic? Send it my way.

xo

Alia

P.S. I was on a trip for the last few weeks and it was marvelous. Here’s a silly collage I made of my fave moments.

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P.P.S. Are you hungry for more artistic expression in your life? I am starting a uplifting supportive group in my 50 DAYS OF CREATIVITY project. Join us! You don’t have to be an artist, singer, or whatever. The point of the 50 DAY project is to gather people like you and me to express ourselves in a private community of friends. You choose your medium: painting, music, a video, a podcast, writing, whatever! We feature your project (the thing you’ve been meaning to work on or try out) on 1 day of the 50 and share it in the private community! If you’re interested, click here and I’ll add you to the list as it unfolds.